After The War
by Jeremiah2911
Summary: This begins where "For the Love of Izzy" stopped, well after HCMK.  It takes place immediately after the end of Happy Christmas Mrs. King.  I have omitted a lot of Felicity's storyline in HCMK.  Gus has been living with the Pettibones in Halifax while working for the War Dept. there.  Chapter 9 is up.  I have an idea where this is going; I just need to get there.
1. Chapter 1

After a tear filled meal that helped the King clan absorb the grace of Felix's safe return to the King Farm, the smell of roasted chestnuts and popcorn both cooked over the warm and crackling fire at Rose Cottage filled the air. Even with the war, it did finally feel like Christmas.

The sparks that ignited in the open flames of the fireplace reminded Felix of the bombing and fires he saw on the battlegrounds of Germany. The reality was that Elbert would never see another Christmas on PEI and Felix would never forget his promise to his friend.

Felix was startled by the hand that gently shook his shoulder. "Felix, Felix, where are you?" Felicity's voice snapped him front and center again. Felix tried to put on his best front, placed his hand over hers and answered, "I am right here, Felicity."

Felicity kneeled down beside him, so her body would block their conversation from the elder family members. "Felix, have you spoken to Izzy yet?" Felix flinched with concern at the thought of his precious Izzy still somewhere in Europe, no doubt healing and protecting other soldiers.

"Felicity, I don't even know where she is right now. The last I heard from her she was planning on serving as a nurse in Europe with the Red Cross."

"Felix, she was only over in Europe a short period of time. She wanted to go as close to the front lines as possible and after only a few weeks her camp was destroyed by mortar fire. Very few survived. She wasn't wounded physically beyond some minor scratches and a concussion. They wouldn't let her stay and sent her back to Halifax."

"How is she?" Felix felt a sense of relief that he had never felt before in his life. The thought of losing Izzy as well as Elbert was too much to even comprehend.

"Well, physically she healed quickly, but I called her when you went missing and she was devastated. No matter what water has passed under the bridge between you two, Izzy cares about you deeply and she deserves to hear about your return from you."

"You are right and if you will take a dictation, I will write to her tomorrow." At least he could provide her the comfort of his safe return without having to physically see her and tell whether she had found someone else.

"No, Felix, you have to call her, tonight!" Felicity told him with her usually older sister order tone.

Felix's brain went wild. "Why is she married?"

"No."

"Engaged."

"No, nothing like that, but she will be here in two days."


	2. Chapter 2

Felix was still a little dazed by the statement, but managed to ask the question. "Why will she be here, Felicity."

"Oh, Felix, she will bring Gus home for his week of leave. His sight is much better, but it is easier to travel with someone else and Izzy and Cecily were planning on catching up during her stay here. Gus moved in with the Pettibones in Halifax after Morgan was called up for duty last month. Arthur had left a long time before to do his residence in Charlottetown. Gus is paying room and board, and it has worked out very well. At least I know he is eating well, and Mrs. Pettibone says that Izzy has opened up to him about some things. She has told her family next to nothing about the ordeal in Europe. Do you want me to call?"

Felix still battled a continual headache and tried to follow her words, but his hand crept to his forehead and he winced with pain. "If you can put the call through and get her to come to the telephone, I will talk with her." He uncurled out of his chair as Aunt Eliza might do with a slow and steady movement. His injured leg was stiff, and it made rising and walking difficult. He could hardly move with any comfort.

She helped him to sit down on the chair next to the telephone.

Felicity turned to walk with him toward the telephone in the next room. "Hello" . . . "yes, Sally". . . "Merry Christmas to you also". . . Yes, he is here with us now, I know, Sally would you please connect me to the home of Clive Pettibone in Halifax?" . . . "Thanks."

After a few long minutes Felicity reaches Muriel. She exchanges Christmas Greetings and when Muriel asks about any news on Felix, "Well, this is why I am calling, I have someone here who wishes to speak to Izzy. Would you tell her please?" Felicity smiles at Felix while she waits for Izzy.

Finally, a faint voice comes across the line, "Felicity, what is it?"

"Izzy, I have a young officer here who wishes to speak to you. May I put him on the line?"

Izzy chokes on a small cry and answers in a shaky voice. "Yes, please."

Felicity nods to Felix and puts the phone in the hand of his uninjured arm. "Iz, it is me and I am going to be fine."

"Going to be fine, what is wrong with you?"

"I have an injured arm, leg and a small concussion, but I am home and am alive." He wasn't sure if it was his head or his heart, but he was starting to feel a little lightheaded.

"I am so relieved Felix. You must know that your family has been in our thoughts and prayers these past weeks. How is Elbert?"

"He was with me Izzy, but he didn't make it. It is my fault; I tried to pull him to safety." Felix is so full of emotion that he cannot finish his sentence.

"It is not your fault Felix, this war does terrible things to us all, but you cannot allow it to destroy your heart. Elbert wouldn't want that."

"I know that in my head, but it isn't as clear as it use to be, Iz. How are you Iz?"

Clearly uncomfortable with the question, she answered curtly. "I am going to be fine, and we will not waste time talking about it now."

"Will you still accompany Gus to Avonlea?"

There was a pause. "Yes, unless you do not want me to come. I understand if you don't want me there."

"I want to see you Izzy."

"I, I will be there in two days as planned."

"Izzy, I need to say something."

"Can it not wait until we are face to face?"

"It can, but I cannot. I am so sorry about everything."

"I am too, Felix, more than you could ever know. I will see you soon and we can talk then. You should rest now."

"Yes Nurse Pettibone." Felix tried to say it with a smile in his voice, but Izzy knew better.

"Good-night, Felix and Merry Christmas. It is the season of miracles."

"Merry Christmas, Iz." After hanging up the phone, Felix stared at it for a few minutes. She didn't say much, but her voice told him many things. She was hurting, but he was not certain why. Was it him, the war, or something else?

Felix heard the conversations around him the rest of the night, but only talked when he was specifically prompted. Janet was worried about his injuries. She had Alec took Felix home early and Alec returned later for the rest of the family. Felix didn't fight her because he couldn't remember the last time he slept well.

She wanted to attend to his bandages the instant they returned to King Farm, but Felix almost begged her to let him rest one night before attempting the deed. The thought of his mother seeing what had happened to him was more than he could bear at that moment.

He went straight to his room. It looked exactly the way he had left it and for some reason that made him smile. He carefully removed his uniform, put on a nightshirt and slipped under the covers. For the first time in what seemed like many years, but actually was only a few months, he actually slept soundly without nightmares.

If he dreamed any dreams at all, he did not remember them. It was the deepest and richest sleep he could ever remember. 


	3. Chapter 3

He was home safe with his family and Izzy was not in Europe but tucked away in Halifax where the rages of war could not touch her anymore.

When he finally awoke and lifted the blind the brightness of the sun almost scared him. Daniel's bed was made, so he must have been in and left without Felix even hearing him.

Felix dressed himself, which was a painfully slow process. His clothes hung on his body like those on a scarecrow. By the time he saw the clock hanging in the kitchen it was 1:30 in the afternoon. No wonder he was so hungry. He had missed breakfast and lunch.

He was startled by the voice behind him. Janet, who had entered through the summer kitchen smiled at the sight of her firstborn son back in her kitchen, where he belonged. "Felix, you certainly slept well and must be ravished by hunger."

"Mother, where is everyone? I was beginning to think I was all alone."

"No, Felix, I have been trying to keep the house quiet so you could sleep peacefully. Your father and Daniel are out working in the barn. Cecily is at the telegraph office and Felicity went to see Doctor Snow."

"Is Felicity sick?"

She gave Felix a look that he could not read. "Well, I suppose with all of the excitement of your homecoming Felicity did not want to reveal her news last night. You, young man you are going to be an uncle."

"Really, well that is wonderful. It didn't occur to me that, well that . . . I am glad she isn't ill."

"Well, she is under the weather, but it will be of short duration and by early summer another King will be with us. It really gives you hope in times like these."

"Yes, it does."

"I will allow you to eat, but after you finish we are going to take care of those bandages young man. You will also need a visit to Dr. Snow." Although she was very concerned about his injuries she could not help smiling at the thought of having him home.

"Yes, Mam." Felix feasted on biscuit and sausages sandwiches and also a Christmas orange. He was still quite stiff, but was able to put up a good front for his mum.

She helped him with his bandages the damage to his leg was better than she thought, but his arm was much worse. The injury from the mortar was healing, but he didn't seem to have any strength at all in the limb. She would ask Felicity about it as soon as she returned.

Felix was worried about his arm also. It looked so much better, but he still couldn't control it any better than when the wound was fresh. The medical personnel who released him to go home insisted that he have it checked as soon as he arrived back on PEI. There was time for that tomorrow. Today, he wanted to remember the boy who grew up here.

He found his winter coat and after he put it on he pulled the collar to his nose. It smelled like the past and he swore he could smell the lilac scent of Izzy's perfume. He hadn't smelled it since the day he said good-bye to her.

Janet fretted about him catching a cold, which Felix found very amusing. After almost being killed by the enemy; living through the field hospital; and transportation back to Canada, the thought of catching a cold in Avonlea seemed like a pleasant idea.

He spent the rest of his day in the barn. He visited the animals and day dreamed in the hayloft. Certainly, Izzy wouldn't return to see him if there was no hope for them. He wasn't sure what was left of him was worthy of her. She is the only thing he thought about ever since he had been wounded. He could still feel her kiss good-bye, see her running away after and smell her hair as if she were there with him now. Then he could hear her call him. "Felix, Felix."

He snapped out of his dreaming long enough to realize that it was a male voice calling him.

"Yes, Father."

"Where were you son?"

"I was reliving the past a little."

"Felix, don't become so caught up in the past that you forget about the future, my boy."

"Yes, I know." His gaze was still a million miles away.

"Are you still worried about Izzy?"

"Yes, she was more upset than mother when I left."

"Felix, you have to remember that her life has always revolved around the military in one way or another. And, well from her point of view, most of it wasn't pleasant until her father left the Army. I suppose she never thought that you would put her right back into the middle of it again."

"I know, but she made me choose between her fears and my duty as a loyal Canadian. Even though she says that it was wrong of her; I still feel it tarnishes our relationship."

"There wasn't a good answer for either one of you back then. Now that she and you have both returned from Europe, well maybe you can find some common ground."

"I hope so."

"It is almost time for tea, why don't you come back with me and wash-up. Your mother is worried about you being out here too long."

Felix smiled and allowed his father to help him to the house. He had missed talking to his father, who always knew the truth of every situation. Tomorrow Gus would be arriving with Izzy. He had not had the chance to enjoy his new brother. Yes, tomorrow would be beautiful day.


	4. Chapter 4

The train crawled slowly along. Izzy couldn't seem to get comfortable in the seat. She was wringing what seemed to be left of a small, lacy handkerchief. Gus couldn't handle it any longer.

"Okay, young lady you are as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. I cannot even see you all that well and I can see that perfectly."

"Oh, I am sorry Gus, it is just that this is. . . Well, this is going to be more difficult than I thought it would be." Izzy returned a small smile to her friend, even if he couldn't see it.

Gus took her hand. "Izzy, I know my brother well and no matter what has happened in the past, he is going to be happy to see you. No matter what, you two have always been best friends and those are hard to come by."

Izzy relaxed and took a breath. She didn't realize that when Gus mentioned Felix's name she quit breathing. "Gus, I put him in an impossible position when he left. We are different people now. We both have left pieces of us behind in Europe. The war changes you whether you admit it or not. He has physical as well as emotional injuries and I am sure he will be able to see mine."

"Just relax Iz. People change all of the time war or no war. We are all just a minute away from changing. Look at me, a week ago I was just Gus Pike the man and husband and now I am Gus Pike the future father. Yes, change is always running ahead of you."

"You are right, I know, but I will just feel better when I know more." Izzy tried to put up a brave front, but Gus could still feel the tension in her.

Felicity had planned on accompanying Cecily to the whistle stop, but morning sickness had put a quick stop to that. She was unable to go anywhere or smell anything, especially horses. Felix had dressed himself and insisted on riding along.

Both parents discouraged it, but when Cecily staunchly came to his defense they relented. Cecily knew he needed to see Izzy with as few family members around as possible.

Cecily helped Felix out of the cutter. "Please don't climb the stairs Felix, Mother and Father would kill me if you fell off." Felix smiled and waited.

Izzy stepped off and reached up to help Gus descend the stairs. She had her hair in the latest style and it framed her heart shaped face. Her clothing was nothing like the tomboy wardrobe she wore for so many years. She was disappointed to only see Cecily, but her face didn't show it.

Cecily ran to them both. "Iz, I have missed you so much." She wrapped her friend in a large hug.

"Thanks sister, I know that I am a sight for sore eyes also." All three laughed at Gus' attempt at humor.

"Where is Felicity, is she all right?"

"She is fine, just a little under the weather because of her condition. She is waiting at home for you."

"I missed you Cecily, how is everyone?" Izzy finally composed herself to ask.

"The family is good and he is right over there." Cecily stepped back, so Izzy could see Felix. The sight of her took his breath away and again she stopped breathing. It seemed like time had passed so quickly and so slowly all at the same time.

Izzy walked to the edge of the stairs. "Hello, Izzy, welcome home." Felix forced himself to say as he tried to give her his best lopsided grin.

"Welcome back yourself," she said in a whisper. She slowly descended the stairs and carefully moved her hand across the merging scar on his brow. She let her hand drop to his cheek and finally it feel across his lips. He kissed her hand and she reacted like someone had poured cold water on her. "How, how are you feeling, Felix."

Felix wasn't exactly sure how to answer. "Well, I am here and in one piece, more or less." Immediately Izzy begins crying very softly.

She pulls away and Felix takes his thumb and quietly brushes away a tear from her cheek. She then looks in his eyes, rises on her toes and places a soft kiss on his lips. He leans forward to return the kiss. After a few seconds she pulls away and leans her head on his chest. "Sh, sh . . . it is okay, Izzy. Everything is fine."

Cecily begins clearing her throat very loudly. "Well maybe we should move along where it is less crowded."

Gus replies, "I don't think they give a flying fig about the crowd, Cecily."

Izzy pulls back and turns around to see Mrs. Potts and Sally. Apparently Mrs. Potts was seeing Sally Potts off on the next train. The mother and daughter try to act as if they weren't staring although they seem mesmerized by the display of affection before them. They then immediately walk past the couple.

Felix smiles even larger at the pair and says, "Yes, we should be getting home."

As the four walk off, Mrs. Potts sniffs and says to her daughter, "Well, it seems that no matter what that Felix King does, Izzy Pettibone continues to throw herself at him."

"It didn't look like he minded catching her even in the most public of all places." Sally replied snidely.

"It does not matter how you dress her up, she will always be a grown up tomboy. She went to Europe by herself you know. I cannot believe that her father allowed such independence." Mrs. Potts said it as if the trip had turned Izzy into a Leper. 


	5. Chapter 5

The ride home was very cold and quiet. Gus tried to break the silence by asking about Felicity.

"She is fine and don't treat her like a china doll or she is apt to take it personally." Cecily knew that Felicity did not want to be treated like she was a sick child.

"Ya know, one thing I have learned for sure with my past with your sister, she will tell you exactly how she wants to be treated and why." Gus smiled with pride and warmth.

Felix and Izzy were riding in the back and avoiding each other's eyes. "I don't know what to say to you Felix?"

"Say that you forgive me Iz." Felix said very quietly.

"Oh, Felix I put you in an impossible position. I was so scared of losing you that I decide it would be easier to let you go than lose you. You should forgive me." 

"Did you let me go Izzy?"

"What?"

"You said it was easier to let me go. Did you let me go?" Felix held his breath waiting for an answer.

"I don't know. I tried and I . . Will you please forgive me?" Izzy looked up at him with moist eyes and a trembling lip.

It wasn't exactly the answer he had been hoping for, but he wouldn't push for now. "There is nothing to forgive. You had every right to be upset with me. I promised you I would leave the service when my time was up with the Navy and I broke that promise to you in a big way. I never even asked you about it."

"What choice did you have? It was the right decision for a responsible gentleman and I made it impossible for you."

"How about we forgive each other and see where it leads us?" Felix answered.

"That sounds good." At this point Izzy became very aware of how closely they sat together and she leaned over and placed her head on his shoulder. He reached his uninjured arm around her. He gently kissed the top of her head and nothing else was said because the silence spoke to both of them.

They were both emotionally drained from the short conversation and they had arrived at King Farm.

It was a quiet celebration for Gus' homecoming and Izzy's visit. The family gave a blessing for both and ate all of Gus' favorites. Aunt Hetty wasn't feeling up to the trip, so Gus and Felicity promised to go over for a visit after dinner and they would spend the night there since King Farm was getting so crowded.

Cecily, Felix and Izzy talked about their childhood. Gus teased Izzy about her job at Halifax. She was working at the local hospital on solders that had returned injured.

"You should see how the fellas fall all over themselves for pretty Nurse Pettibone there."

"Gus, you know it would be unprofessional for me to accept their attentions. They are all just looking for a friend."

"Right, you know Izzy for such a world traveler; you are awful naïve at times." Gus laughed. Felix didn't.

Izzy felt the tension and had to get away from it. "Okay, well I am very tired all of a sudden. Cecily, do you mind if I turn in?"

"Sure, I have tomorrow off and cannot wait to sleep in." Cecily and Izzy walked slowly up the stairs toward Cecily's bedroom.

Felix watched them go and suddenly remembered that it was way past time for his pain medicine. After Janet administered the powders and approved

that he taken it all, he made his way toward his bedroom. There was plenty of time to talk to Izzy later, when they had both slept well. He walked by Cecily's door and listened. He could hear small laughs and conversation. He lifted his hand to knock, then lowered it again and shook his head. They both needed time and space. 


	6. Chapter 6

Izzy did not sleep well that night. It seemed like all time had stood still when she saw Felix again. There was a time she thought that she would never see him again or anyone one else she loved for that matter. It was always an easy rhythm to be by Felix's side again and try to go back. She knew however that the war had changed them both and they would never be the innocent children of the island again. She listened to the quiet of PEI. All she could hear was the sound of Cecily's steady breathing. Soon, she drifted off into a dreamless world. Dreams were not a pleasant experience anymore. The mind seemed to remember too many things she wished to forget.

The next morning, Izzy could feel the sunlight on her face. She opened her eyes to an empty bedroom. Cecily's bed was made as if she weren't there at all during the night. Izzy rose and crossed the room to look out the window. King Farm had always been a refuge of her youth. A place where she could feel protected and included. She could not spend the whole morning in the past, so she found her Navy with white day dress.

She entered an almost completely empty kitchen. Janet was putting away a few dishes and turned to greet Izzy with a smile but a worried face. "Oh, Izzy. I am so glad you are awake."

"Where is Cecily, why didn't she wake me?" Izzy asked.

"Well, there has been . . . Cecily was called into the telegraph office early this morning. It seems that Dora O'Riley nee Keith is ill. Mrs. Lynde is tending to her and Cecily went in to replace her at the office. Alec and Daniel are over at the Miller's Farm, something about a horse foaling in the middle of winter for goodness sake. Felicity is still not well and Hetty shouldn't be doing any lifting. Olivia has taken it into her head that she needs to leave this morning to return to England, so I am off to get her and the children packed and sent. I wish you could have seen her before they left. She always adored you Izzy."

"She will always have a special place in my heart for making my first dress and seeing me as a lady." Izzy said with a small smile.

"I hate to ask this of you," Janet said as she nervously touched her fingers to her hair.

"Anything Mrs. King, you know that." Izzy said this with full honesty.

"Well, Felix is still upstairs sleeping. Could you please just stay here and be here when he gets up. I was supposed to take him to see Dr. Snow at 1:00, but I will have to call and cancel that."

"I am a nurse Mrs. King and am fully capable of transporting Felix to Dr. Snow's office."

"Oh, thank-you Izzy. We have always been able to count on you; the cutter is in the barn. With just the two of you will only need to hook up Lady. Breakfast is on the stove and I will put water on for tea before I leave."

"I am also perfectly able to make myself tea. Please go before you change your mind. We will be fine." Izzy said it, although she didn't know how true the statement was as it applied to her and Felix. Having people around seemed to offer a buffer, but God would provide something. She could see through Janet's façade of a smile. There was a mother's worry going on in her mind. Izzy couldn't tell if Janet's anxiousness was about leaving her just returned from combat son behind or about the fact that she left him in Izzy's hands alone.

"Oh, I should go." She hugged Izzy and headed for the door.

"Do not worry and be careful." Izzy heard the back door shut and turned her attention to making a fresh pot of tea. She then sat down and poured herself a fresh cup. The King kitchen smelled of gingerbread and vanilla. It brought back memories of being in this kitchen countless times before enjoying the fruits of the King's culinary labors. Even Felix had fixed her a perfect dinner here after the bachelor auction. She lifted the cup to her lips only to drop it at the sound of a loud, petrified scream. It was familiar and unrecognizable at the same time. The cup broke, but she flew up the stairs and toward Felix's room. When she opened the door she could see him thrashing about in his bed. "Elbert, we are going home. Get, up we are going home! Help!" The terror in his voice frightened Izzy and she put her arms around his shoulders, carefully trying to steady him.

"Felix, wake-up. Felix, you are home now. Wake-up now." Izzy had a hard time controlling him, but she knew that his injuries would be worsened if he didn't stop moving around like an animal in too small of a cage.

Suddenly, his eyes opened and he looked at her. She thought he was going to speak, but he pushed her away and turned his eyes from her. "Get out."

"Felix, it is me, Izzy. You were having a nightmare." Izzy tried to say it loudly, but it still came out in a small whisper.

He whispered his answer. "I know who you are and I want you out."

"Well, that is too bad Mr. King, because I am not going anywhere. I need to check to make sure you haven't injured yourself further." She began to inspect his arm and he pulled it away.

"Don't you understand? I don't want you to see me like this. I thought they were over." He was embarrassed by his display of terror.

"Well, I have been back a lot longer than you and mine aren't over. I suspect it will take you time and space to truly heal from the trauma. Don't be conceited enough to think you are the only one. My physical wounds were small, but I suffered just as much as the men at the front and I wasn't allowed a gun to protect myself." It did not come out the way she had hoped, but she couldn't take it back now. She released his arm and sat in a chair near the bed. It was time for her to turn her head in silence.

Felix reached to touch her arm. "I am sorry, Izzy, I never thought. I didn't know. I just didn't think it would

happen once I came home." Weakly, he leaned toward her and placed his forehead on her shoulder. "I am sorry."

Izzy didn't turn, but answered quietly. "I know, I know. We are all sorry and will be for years to come. This war didn't affect just you and me. It affected our parents, siblings and probably will someday affect our children."

Suddenly, a blush swept across Izzy's face and she pulled away from Felix's touch. "I really shouldn't be lecturing you Felix, please let me check your arm at least." She didn't make eye contact with him and the room was thick with uncomfortable air.

Felix nodded his head in agreement. Izzy had to look at him to see his response. She immediately went to inspect his arm. "How is the pain?"

"It doesn't hurt any more than before." Once she was close enough to touch he grabbed her by the arm. "It will be fine, Iz. The doctors would not have released me if it were that bad."

"You forget that you are talking to nurse who has seen patients released when the injuries were far from 'fine' as you say. That reminds me. You have an appointment with Doctor Snow. Now would be a good time for you to get dressed and eat."

"Izzy, I never scheduled an appointment with Dr. Snow."

"It is common procedure when the local doctor hears of a returning, injured soldier. He will check up and send a report back to the armed services office. Have you been fully released from service yet?"

"I, I um, I don't know Izzy. They sent me home, but with all the pain medication I have been on I have a hard time recalling the information they gave me in the hospital. I just wanted to come home." Felix gave her a pleading look and hoped she could guess that she was the main reason he had to get back home.

Izzy tried to give him a nonchalant smile, but failed miserably. She put her hand over his. He was still holding onto her shoulder. "Felix, we need to have you fully examined. Dr. Snow may have more information on your status and be able to give you medications or recommendation to improve your injuries." She carefully moved his hand from her shoulder to rest between both of her palms. "Felix, it isn't right for me to be here in your room alone with you. It isn't proper. Can you dress yourself and meet me in the kitchen?"

Felix was suddenly aware that he was dressed only in a night shirt and that Izzy was probably right. Truthfully he didn't care what was right and proper, but he would not deny her request. "Yes, of course, I will be right down."

It took longer than he thought it would to appear in the kitchen and he was unable to get his sling back on properly. "Well, I am at least dressed. Do you think you could adjust this for me?" He gave her a smile that said that he wanted rather than needed the help.

"Of course, I have done this a few times. You will have to sit down. I cannot possibly reach up that far."

Felix moved toward the chair and descended slowly. Izzy quickly moved and adjusted the sling. "How is the pain now?"

"It is a little worse than yesterday." Felix said this with honesty and searched her eyes to see if she responded to the touch between them as much as he had. He was not disappointed by the momentary reaction he saw in her eyes. She covered for it quickly.

"You will work through the pain. Feeling pain is better than feeling nothing."

"I have learned that." He grabbed her hand and pulled her down in the chair next to him. "Have you?"

Izzy tensed. "I feel many things Felix, but that doesn't mean I have to act on them. Growing up makes decision making harder. You are responsible for others as well as yourself. "

"That is a very pretty away to avoid telling me how you feel." Felix challenged her more than he had intended.

"I feel that you need to eat and we need to leave in order to get to Dr. Snow's on time. It is after 11:00." Izzy rose to gather up the food that Janet left for them both.

"You win for now Izzy, but at some point before you return home, we need to talk about us." The inflection in his voice was impossible to miss. There was optimism behind his pain.

"Felix, can we agree to spend the next hour discussing anything else and I promise I will be able to fulfill your request before I return to Halifax." Izzy smiled and Felix relaxed. They spent the next hour talking about their childhood adventures and left the war behind them.

Izzy successfully hitched up Lady and transported Felix safely to Dr. Snow's office. The atmosphere between them had relaxed and they enjoyed the ride together.


	7. Chapter 7

Felix leaned a little on Izzy to make his way up the steps to the office. As they entered a young woman welcomed them and asked them to take a seat. She went to retrieve Dr. Snow.

"Felix, I am glad to see you looking so well. I would like to introduce you to my wife, Nurse Rebecca Snow this is Felix King and his fiancée Izzy Pettibone, who I believe is a nurse also." (Neither Dr. or Mrs. Snow noticed the wary exchange between Felix and Izzy.) There was no verbal response from either of them.

"It is a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Snow." Felix smiled at the young nurse. "I was unaware that Dr. Snow had married."

"Well, Rebecca is the niece of Mr. and Mrs. Fletcher. She came to the island after Mrs. Fletcher's stroke and we soon discovered that we had more in common than medicine. Okay, young man I am sure you didn't come all this way to hear me gush about Rebecca. Right this way." Dr. Snow opened the door to the examining room and Felix followed him. Before shutting the door Dr. Snow turned to address Izzy. "Would you like to supervise the examination of your intended Nurse Pettibone?"

Again with eyes as large as a doe, Izzy faltered to speak. "Oh no I trust you Dr. Snow. You know what they say about trying to treat family."

"Well, I will want to discuss some therapy alternatives with you, so I will call you in after I am finished." He did not wait for a response and closed the door behind him.

Izzy and Rebecca discussed their educations and experiences in nursing school. Izzy felt like she hadn't really laughed in years. It was good to speak to someone who didn't have any expectations of her. Well, she did think that she and Felix were engaged, but Izzy couldn't do anything about that at this point. It wasn't long before Dr. Snow opened the door and called her into the exam room.

Izzy physically stalled in the door when she saw Felix bare from the waist up on the exam table. She averted her eyes and kept walking. She was sure that she could remain professional about this situation.

"Well, Izzy, Felix is very lucky that you decided to occupy your time profitably waiting on him to return. Are you familiar to physically therapy for recovering nerves, ligaments, and muscles after a battlefield injury?"

"I am quite well versed on the therapy required. I have worked with many returning soldiers, but I would need information on the extent of the injury."

"You haven't seen the injury?" Dr. Snow seemed a little surprised.

"I only return to town yesterday and have not examined Felix fully." The room was becoming more and more uncomfortable and close. Izzy couldn't believe that Felix hadn't told Dr. Snow that there was no engagement. Even if they were engaged, Dr. Snow should not presume that she would be allowed to examine Felix.

"Well, I would think that daily stretches and increased strengthening would be appropriate. I am not concerned about the leg as much as the arm. A few of the nerves were severely affected by the shrapnel and I want to make sure that full feeling and strength are returned. I am not concerned about infection, but I want the injury closely monitored."

"Izzy, are you familiar with the program for returning men at Halifax General?"

"Yes, I have been working there for several weeks." Izzy said a silent prayer that this conversation wasn't going where she thought it was going.

"This is providential. Is Dr. Michael Smith still there?" Dr. Snow did not seem to notice the extra pause as Izzy carefully thought how to answer.

"Yes, I believe he is Dr. Snow."

"I don't know what brought that Yankee here, but I am not going to question it. Since, you are working there I won't need to arrange the appointment. I think that Officer King would benefit from a consultation with Dr. Smith. You can arrange that correct."

"Uh, I believe so, but wouldn't it be better if you made the referral Dr. Snow." Izzy asked with a hopeful smile. There were several reasons she did not want to make that telephone call.

"I understand. We don't want them to think you are demanding special treatment for your sweet heart. I will have Rebecca ring them up and call you with the date and time."

"Yes doctor." Izzy would agree to anything to get out of that room. Felix just sat there. He know that Iz was mad that he had not corrected Dr. Snow on the status of their relationship, but there seemed to be something even more wrong.

"Okay, please look at the way I have bound his shoulder with pressure evenly applied." Dr. Snow walked to Felix and Izzy followed. She observed the injury and listened to Dr. Snow's suggestions. Then the door opened.

"Dr. Snow, we have had a call from Obadiah Johnson's wife. His has started a fever and she is worried about the infection." Nurse Snow's worried look prompted the doctor to take his leave.

"Tell her I will be right there. Izzy, can you help Felix dress? Felix, I know we still need to discuss your status with the Army, but I am afraid because of that arm of yours that your days of combat are over. We can discuss this after you return from Halifax. Please excuse me."

Dr. Snow left in a flurry. Izzy turned to Felix and wordlessly assisted him back into his shirt and sling. "I will make sure Nurse Snow knows to ring for an appointment." She said and did all of this without eye contact.

After they were alone in the cutter, she spoke up. "Why didn't you tell Dr. Snow about our engagement?"

"What about it?"

"That it was broken."

"I didn't break it." Felix replied with a hint of frustration in his voice.

"How could he not know?"

"Easy, Izzy, neither one of us were here. My folks didn't feel it was there place to tell everyone. I think they were hoping that we would work it out."'

"Well, right now my only concern is making sure that your mother learns the therapy you will need. She and Cecily will have to provide for you."

"Where will you be Iz and what about my visit to Dr. Smith?" Felix asked with a hopeful inflection.

"I don't know Felix. Your mother should be able to accompany you to Halifax to see Dr. Snow. There was no way she would be alone in a room with those two men. I have responsibilities in Halifax." Felix nodded, but she could tell he didn't understand why she wouldn't help.

Izzy slowed Lady down and turned to face him. "Felix, I was so happy to hear that you were safe and you were back. You have to know that we cannot start over where we left off. We are both different people and both need some time and space."

"I understand that you need that Izzy, but I don't." Felix reached for her gloved hand with his uninjured one. She knew that she should pull away, but she could not reject him. She knew that when it all came out he may feel differently, but this was now.

Izzy drove on and eventually pulled her hand from his grip to turn the cutter into King Farm. There they were greeted by Alec and Daniel.


	8. Chapter 8

Felix was incredibly quiet that afternoon, but if anyone noticed nothing was said. Izzy was quiet also but in a way that made it seem she was preoccupied with something. During afternoon tea everyone was surprised by Dr. Snow's appearance. "I'm sorry to interrupt your tea, but I left in such a flurry this afternoon that I forgot to give you these pain powders for your arm. You can take them as needed, but don't take them any more than three times a day. Also, I would like to talk to Nurse Pettibone if I may?"

Izzy, who had been trying to disappear in the room full of Kings, spoke quietly. "Of course Dr. Snow, why did you need to speak to me?" Dr. Snow smiled grandly. "Rebecca spoke to me this afternoon. She of course like all wives is much cleverer than I am." During his pause in speech, everyone chuckled in agreement. "You studied nursing in the states, Boston I believe?" Izzy's eyes widened with her reply, "yes, but since returning from . . . (her voice cracked and she looked away for a brief moment not wanting to say where she returned from) since returning to Canada I've been working as a volunteer the infirmary at the Orphanage in Halifax as well as my duties at Halifax General."

If it was possible, Dr. Snow's grin widened with the information, so you have been in contact with Dr. Gilbert Blythe?"

"Yes, Miss Shirley teaches at the orphanage and Dr. Blythe is called in when a case is beyond a nurse's expertise."

"You have had a lot of experience with all types of medical conditions. I'm sorry; I am not making small talk. The truth is that Rebecca is expecting in about six months and will not be returning to my office after the baby is born. As a result I will need a new nurse." At that point Alec rose to shake Dr. Snow's hand with a hearty "Congratulations." The rest of the Kings assented. Only Felix and Izzy seemed withdrawn from the celebration. "Rebecca thinks and I agree that you would be perfect for the post, so if you and Felix agree to it that job is yours." At this point Janet looks from Izzy back to Felix with a concerned brow. Dr. Snow is unaware of the implications of his words on the rest of the King Clan.

"Well, that is a wonderful and unexpected offer Dr. Snow. May I please have some time to consider it?" Izzy's voice was unsteady and only Felix and Cecily could tell that she was on the edge of tears.

"Of course Izzy, there is time yet but your return to the island as a nurse seems providential for your fiancée as well as for the community." Dr. Snow then shook her hand. "Welcome home child." He turned to the family, "again I am sorry to interrupt. Felix I will see you when you return from Halifax." As soon as Dr. Snow was out of the door, Izzy burst into tears and ran up to the room she shared with Cecily.

Cecily ran after her, and Felix stood to try and follow suit. Alec put his hand lightly on Felix's good shoulder. "Let Cecily go to her son; she will let you know if she needs you." Felix turn to Alec with tears in his eyes, "I think I need her more than she needs me at the moment." Janet quickly stepped to embrace her older son, "no Felix, it is time you both need. Come with me, let your mother feel needed by letting me check your bandages it is passed time." Slowly he went with her into the kitchen.

Cecily found Izzy on the bed laying face down and trying not to cry. Izzy raised her head to see who had entered and looked relieved to see her old chum. "Oh, Cecily I don't know what I am going to do." Cecily pulled her into a small hug. "Izzy, we ceased to be children when this bloody war broke out and now we all have to deal with the consequences. You are going to do what you have always done, the right thing. Now you just have to decide what that is for yourself. First things first, are you still in love with my brother?"

Izzy to Cecily's surprised started to quietly laugh. "Does that have to be my first decision?"

Cecily replied, "Well if the answer is a definite no then you don't have to worry about the nursing position."

"As of right now I don't even care about the position. I'm worried about Felix and how he will feel about me when he knows everything?"

"Everything Iz, what is there that you haven't told us?"

"There is a lot that I haven't told anyone, but if you sit down I would love to share it all with you." Cecily's eyes widen and she sits down with the conviction that she will always be Izzy's friend no matter what has happened because of this war.


	9. Chapter 9

When morning breaks Izzy finds that she is all alone in Cecily's room. She can tell it is late in the morning by the sunlight, which is seeping through the shade like liquid gold. I cannot make sleeping late into a habit she thought as she pulled on a deep purple frock. As she quietly descended the stairs she over hears a conversation in the parlor.

Gus' distinctive voice says, "Is there anythin' else I can do for ya? You're doing well and all." Felicity answers, "Oh for pity's sake, I am fine Gus Pike. Just having you here is enough. There is nothing you can do unless you can devise a way to shake some sense into Felix and Izzy."

Gus replies, "Now there me lady, you are talking about two adults. Not much to be done but let 'em work it out."

Felicity's voice seems full of hope, "That might never happen on its own. If she leaves without resolving anything they will both regret it."

"Now there, it sounds like you're setting up to do match-a-makin' that would put Eulalie Bugle to shame," Gus replied with trepidation and disapproval in his voice.

"You know that Izzy and Felix both had nightmares last night. I've read about soldiers and civilians that never recover from what has happened to them and what they have seen on the battlefield. They need to be turning to each other. I know they both have regrets about how they left things, but they love each other. Anyone can see it. I feel like knocking their heads together so they can see it too. They just . . ." Felicity was interrupted by the sound of Izzy coming down the stairs.

"Well speak of the devil, there is the sleeping beauty right now," Gus laughed.

Izzy tried to look surprised, "Why was I the subject of conversation?"

Felicity gave Gus a scathing look that could melt paint off of the wall and replied in a cheery voice, "Don't pay him any attention to him Izzy. Mother had to take Aunt Hetty to see Dr. Snow, Father and Daniel are out doing chores and Cecily is already gone to the telegraph office. Let me get you some breakfast."

She left one person off of the roll call, but Izzy ignored this and followed Felicity into the kitchen. Gus shook his head and let his wife dive into what he was sure to be a very shallow pond.

Felicity sat down to drink a cup of tea with Izzy. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"I'm fine. How are you?" Izzy asked settling her gaze on Felicity's still flat stomach.

"I'd be better if Gus would realize that I am not an invalid. Being in the family way makes me queasy sometimes, but I am still able to do my fair share."

"Gus loves you so much Felicity and you have been through so much together." Izzy seems a thousand miles away as she says it.

"Yes, our separation was unfortunate, but we both learned that we cannot take each other for granted or waste precious time." Felicity said with deep meaning. "You and Felix could take a lesson in not wasting time now."

"You don't know how much I wish we could take up where we left off, but too much has happened." Izzy had tears in her eyes.

"Nonsense, you were both young and foolish, and you have to forgive and forget before it eats you up with guilt." Felicity can feel the silence that ensues after the statement. "Izzy, I know you were up last night after having a nightmare. I didn't finish medical school, but I have some book learning on the subject. In many cases it means that the episode you relive at night has either caused by deep physical or severe emotional trauma."

"And since I don't have any visible scars you assume it is emotional." Izzy guesses Felicity's point.

"It might help if you talk to someone about it. I know that either Gus or I would be very willing to help you work through it. Even Dr. Snow would be willing to try and help you." Felicity reached across the table and lovingly laid her hand across Izzy's arm. "No matter what has happened or how things end up with you and Felix, I hope we can always be friends Izzy. I love you like a sister, and Gus has become very attached to you living with your family. Trust us, and let us feel useful in helping you."

One single tear falls from Izzy's left eye. "I do love you both. I already told everything to Cecily last night, and I think that caused me to fall back into the nightmares. Only one thing will relive me of my agony. I must speak with Felix about everything that has happened and pray that he will understand. Do you know where he is?" Izzy's voice grows stronger with each word as she realizes that she finally has the courage to face the demons of her past.

Both women were unaware that Felix, who had been preparing in his room for a long walk had descended down the back stairs during their conversation. He wasn't proud of the fact that his eavesdropping had put him in such an awkward situation, but if his military training had taught him anything, it had taught him to face a problem when it arose. "I'm right here Iz."


	10. Chapter 10

Both ladies jumped at the sound of Felix's voice. For a moment Izzy and Felix just stared at each other without movement. Felicity broke the silence when she quickly took her cup to the sink. "I think I hear Gus calling from me." She gave Izzy one last glance full of empathy and nodded her head in an attempt to convey that the truth would set her free.

"Felix, I'm sorry for how I have been acting, and I know you must think I have lost my mind." Izzy's voice was so quiet that Felix had to move forward to hear her. He sat in the seat vacated by Felicity. Slowly he reached forward and placed his hand on hers.

"I don't care what the truth is Izzy. Your last letter said that you were heading over with the Red Cross (see the story _For the Love of Izzy_). What happened to you Iz? You don't have to tell me, and as I have said I don't care. But, I don't think we can move forward until you can get passed it." Felix's eyes were as moist with tears as Izzy's.

Izzy pulled her hand away as she turned to look out the window. She would tell him, but she couldn't watch him while he heard what she was going to say. "I made a good friend while I was in Boston. I think Miss Shirley would call her my bosom friend. Her name was Michelle Smith. We attended nursing school together. She had a sweetheart overseas and saw nursing school as a way to wait for him to return to her. Well, I talked so much about the Red Cross and wanting to help our men in Europe that she eventually wanted to go with me. Her family was NOT happy about her decision. Michelle said if Samuel was hurt somewhere in the field, she wanted him to have the care of a kind nurse. She felt it was her duty to do the same for someone else."

"Does this have anything to do with Samuel?"

"No, he was killed on the battlefield shortly before our camp was attacked. Michelle didn't even know yet." Izzy's eyes grew heavy with tears and she had to shake herself to keep speaking. "Michelle was killed in the mortar fire when my camp was destroyed. We had not been out of Boston two months, and she . . . she was gone. Several were killed, but she was the only one I knew well. She was like the sister I never had. Michelle didn't have a sister either and felt the same way."

Izzy had tears flowing freely now. Felix stood up and quickly walked to where she stood. He attempted to stop the tears with his hand, but she pulled away. Izzy wiped them with her own handkerchief. She then resumed her seat at the table and pointed to the other seat. Felix read the signal and sat back down. She at least owed him the story without tears. She continued in a stronger voice. "This is about Dr. Michael Smith, who is in Halifax. He is the physician from the States that Dr. Snow wanted you to visit as soon as possible."

Felix looked a little confused over the connection. "He is from Boston also."

"He is Michelle Smith's brother, her twin brother, and he followed me here after her death." Felix suddenly realizes that Dr. Smith may be the reason Izzy has not wanted to resume her relationship with him.


End file.
